When life presents many challenges the desire to control can seem natural. There is the illusion that if the control events, ourselves and others, we are safe, successful and safe. Unfortunately, the opposite is true. The more stringent than grab, hold and manipulate more out of control we become.
Especially in the relationships, where people feel vulnerable, where emotions are high and a lot is at stake, the desire to control arises. At first this may seem like possession, wanting to know everything about what the couple is doing, dictating what he / she can or can not do. Possessive often intensifies. Power struggles come erupting. It is not that the person belongs to you and you have the right to direct their choices and the way life goes.
Both the dominant person and which is dominated lose the freedom and welfare. Although the ruling may mean that they are doing it for love, for the sake of the couple, the conclusion is that there is fear and anger, which manifests as the desire for control. Love always honors and respects the other, it gives a person space to be who they are, to make their own changes and discoveries. It is not taking the life of another, but to enhance it.
However, some really enjoy being contained. They feel that if their partners are possessiveness and control, it means they care. This is a dangerous confusion. When one individual controls another, always to feel safe and protected.
The dynamics of control
The control over who really is more a desire to control arises. Being able to control another person or situation can provide a sense power, strength, authority, or the sense that one of the world, will remain stable and secure. However, more control over our own energy we have they use to keep this vigil until.
Control and domination can become an addiction. There is a rush that goes with the control, you feel powerful, as if they are strong and on top of the world, often being controlled may also feel a wave of safety and security, as if someone is very important. Sooner or later, all this has to collapse.
Fear of domination
Another great source of desire to control others is fear of domination. We do not want to be controlled. Although many long for approval and acceptance, also fear being dictated. The way this conflict is handled is by dominating others. They feel that if they are doing the control, no one can link them in. In fact, they are linking themselves tied to the much needed control. Many will almost anything to feel secure. Much anxiety can be caused by not having a real sense of stability within ourselves. This happens when we do not live in our heart. The need control stems from this. It is vitally necessary to contact our true the true source of security, which provides stability, no matter what is happening.
Exercise:
Who are you controlling?
Make a list of all who are controlling – or want to control. Include in this list. List the ways in which control and dominate yourself.
Controlled stopping
Take advantage of a person on the list and let them no matter how much I tried to control them, has been successful? Write down what the outcome was. How did you feel? Whatprice have paid for this?
Imagine that you just allow them to be exactly as they are. How does this make you feel now? What happens to your relationship? What happens to your energy and sense of wellbeing?
For the granting of personal freedom and
Now, do this exercise with yourself.Allow yourself to be exactly like you. Stop fighting, push, and punish yourself how they function. Take the rope around your neck. How do you feel? What new ways of being can be open to you now? What has your endless desire to control himself stopped to happen?
Realizing who is in control
Different people will to come to different conclusions on this part of the exercise. That's good. The purpose of the exercise is to deal with this issue. Spend time with her. Dwell upon the question "Who is really in control of their lives and the lives of others? That revealing response. Who is really in control of this world? Think about it. After have done everything that is in control of what happens to you? What good are you to fight against life? Is there another way to respond?
Axiom 61 Keyboard MIDI Controller by M-Audio
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